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a true falling

May 4, 2013

past falls were different,
this one pure.
the past falls dealt with lust,
preferences, appearances, misperceived securities…
all ugly truths to admit,
reflections of who I didn’t now know I was…
best hidden even from myself, myself…

but this fall,
is pure,
do you even know?

I know when it happened.
I relive it in my mind,
frame by frame,
relishing it,
like a little known secret…
one I want to share,
especially with the one who
perpetrated it.

you took her in.
a stranger.
Cold night, Christmas Eve.
Damp, lost, hungry…
so without.
You fed her,
gave her a ride.

I was aghast…the,
raw kindness of you…
the masculine compassion of you…
the rarest treasure any woman could
hope to find.
Hope, hope, hope…like in a trashy harlequin,
hope unspoken,
we feel guilty to desire,
ridiculous to admit, that
to experience masculine compassion,
right or wrong,
proud or pride-less,
it is what many of us, as women
yearn for,
to be held, but not possessed by…

That was when I fell.
I fell true,
in love with the love,
in action,
from you.

I know it’s real,
because I fell
seeing you love another,
not me…
with service,
someone who could
give you nothing in return…
was when I fell,
fell for you,

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