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Birth into peaceful warrior: a long time coming

February 25, 2014

As usual I’m learning more through accepting pain and the beauty it brings, than I ever would have had I remained healthy, whole, strong and certain I was right about everything. Now I know I know nothing and I’m eager to learn and stay flexible for more learning.

I never was aware I was running from pain, or that there were so many kinds of pain possible. Physical obviously, emotional, mental and of course those uneasy feelings difficult to identify or express but from which we never the less run and try to drown in a myriad of distractions rather than simply sitting with them. After all, they have something to say! Shouldn’t I welcome the prophet or the critique from within, with humility, an open heart and learn how to gain from their perspective, and love the parts of me and others that need love. This is almost always where discomfort arises. From not having given or received love, which has innumerable forms from a kiss, to caress to holding a door or taking responsibility for a mistake or even intentional transgression.

Just writing this paragraph is uncomfortable for me because I’m recognizing new realizations with every sentence. Knowing openness that I have not words or emotions for…only to say that they are vast and I feel I may drown if I struggle, so I will submit, roll to my back and float until my mind comes to terms with what it’s being shown.

I know only that I cannot go back. Back to sleep, or become unaware again. I simply cannot. It’s too glorious here in the bright uncertainty of the moment. I feel alive and ready to embrace. I may be naked spiritually speaking but I’ll get used to it.

“Warriorship is so tender, without skin, without tissue, naked and raw. It is soft and gentle.

You have renounced putting on a new suit of armor. You have renounced growing a thick, hard skin.

You are willing to expose naked flesh, bone, and marrow to the world.”

~ Chögyam Trungpa



From → random musings

One Comment
  1. Thank you for the likes! ❤

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