Love myself, I couldn’t receive love, even though I was starving for it, like a child suffering from starvation who can barely take food even though it’s what they need.
So…my relationship deaths have been all my own unwitting, sinful doing…I wasn’t taught love, now Holy Spirit is teaching me and love is my living and teaching I must undertake. Atonement to live, receive and release.
this is a relief and a grief…grief I threw so much away…a relief to know it may stop now with me and that I can teach my son differently…leave a better imperfect legacy…and even love those who were unable to teach me what they never received themselves…but it takes courage I don’t know…to live a life down a path unscripted…walking down the King James “valley of death,” that I may find the Lewis “happy valley” bathed in the liquid love of the Son, bleaching my bones beautiful…stripping them down to purity, back to origin…with un diluted love, back home.
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