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Heart shadows

sunrise-on-the-foggy-field-6870-706

My personal hallucination

I can almost touch,

Haunting me

In the crevasse I can’t get to,
apical points of impact…

It’s the
whippoorwill call
in the dappled moonlight
of the willow…

It echoes like the
melancholy call
of the lake loon
at dawn…

The stinging kiss
of autumn
crisp with knowing
winter’s touch
waiting to steal steam from lips

It’s clouds fallen
from heavenly heights
twined with tall grasses and
Queen Anne’s Lace
cradled in the hollows
beckoning me
to walk
a specter through a memory
and know the longing
of heaven here.

Merciless memory

You come haunting

Again

Unbeckoned

Synapse

 jolt me back

Time warp 

20 years past…

Have mercy…

Let me forget…

Feather whisper trails 

Along the nerve paths

Of my neck

Breathing loves’ memory

Of a real kiss 

from Lips 

looking for my soul. 

Humanity…

i like your movements and sounds…

Nostalgic and comforting…

I dont need your corporeal

Being with my coffee. 

Just let me hear you,

Near but not with me. 

This transaction has meaning…

Don’t come too close, or stay

I don’t understand…

Your ways,

Your wants,

… And I’m scared to know,

I don’t care to. 

Joy…

I want you back

I want to feel you flip my stomach at the site of a puppy

You hid from me when livelihood became the competition

You like any lover

Won’t tolerate 2nd chair

You want all of me

Or would rather have none at all. 

I feel…

lonesome…

As though I miss someone,

Something,

But I don’t know,

Who

Or 

What. 

I don’t 

want to love

Anymore. 

Love is dangerous. 

Especially

Unreturned

Echoing hollow. 

Creating only pain

Warped in

Wounding itself

Until it

Looks nothing

Like itself

Consuming itself. 

I have…

tried so hard

To do the thing 

I thought I was supposed to do…

It has been a war most unnatural…

I surrender…

Take me where you will…

I am broken and have no strength

To fight your will…

I must trust it will be

For some good

Even if not good for me…

I am the clay…

With no right or ability 

To choose my shape…

Thank you for the mercy

You show, to forgive my resistance…

You must know how hard it is to be defeated.